why i started setting goals

In 2005, my good friend and I started setting goals together as a fun activity to celebrate the new year. We’d meet up in December or January, chat about the highs and lows of the past year, and set goals for the upcoming year. I didn’t set out wanting to change my life. I was going through a very happy time, and this was a light annual tradition that I could share with my friend. It was fun, exciting, satisfying, all good things. It’s only with hindsight that I realize what an important practice she initiated and how I had stumbled upon something that ended up being truly life changing.

When I first started sharing my goals in 2012, I had trouble staying focused on what I wanted to achieve. It took many iterations of setting goals, not quite meeting them, and tweaking them year after year to eventually make some headway. Sharing my goals on YouTube gave me the chance to think through what I wanted to achieve, articulate my goals, receive feedback on them, and develop the external accountability I needed to make a solid effort to follow through. I started viewing myself from a new perspective — one I hadn’t considered before as I was not particularly self-reflective at the time. I started making headway in 2014, which you can clearly see in my videos. I also started honing in on what truly mattered to me. Looking back, I never set goals relating to achievements in the professional space or growing an audience. Instead, I pursued self-development goals in the hopes of becoming a better person for myself and my loved ones.

Over time, I found that the more I set goals and reflected on how I did, the more I learned about myself. And the more I learned about myself, the easier it became to set new goals, discarding the ones that weren’t aligned and continuing with the ones that mattered. I’ve refined my goal setting process over the years and here’s what’s working for me right now. As you move ahead on the journey of goal setting, I’m certain you’ll find what works best for you.

My goal setting process

Step 1: DECIDE ON a theme for the year

What does your ideal life look like? What do you really want to achieve?

It’s important to set a vision and know your main objective for the year. In recent years, I’ve had a lot of success with coming up with a theme that’s phrased as an affirmation — something I want to instill in myself throughout the year. For example, in 2019, my theme was, “you have everything you need,” and in 2020, my theme was, “believe in yourself.” 

A few recommendations:

• Give your theme some thoughtful consideration. I generally start thinking about my theme at least a week or two before the upcoming year. I often “try on” my theme before making my decision.

• Keep your theme simple.

• Infuse your theme into your daily life. With a simple theme, you’ll be able to remember it and repeat it as an affirmation each day. I also like to change my smartphone’s name to my theme. I journal on my theme and generally try to keep it top of mind.

Step 2: set specific goals

In this step, I set some specific goals fort things I want to accomplish during the year. I follow my intuition to determine what I truly want to achieve — sometimes my goals align with my annual theme but not always. I use what I’ve dubbed the ETF method to set my goals.

• My goals are easy for me to accomplish. This doesn’t mean my goals aren’t a stretch (in 2023, my main goal was to finish my book) — but they are things I know I will be able to accomplish, provided I still want to do them. My goals are things within my control. I’m honest with myself, and I don’t hold myself to an impossible standard of perfection.

• My goals are true-to-me — in other words, they are things I truly want to do. I give myself permission to change my mind partway through the year if my priorities shift. This doesn’t count as a failure. Instead, I view it as a success because I am listening to myself and being true to myself.

• My goals are fun. I used to set a lot of goals related to traditional markers of success. I don’t do that anymore. If the reason for my goal is “I think I should do this,” it’s probably not the right goal for me. I need to feel some energy, excitement, and enthusiasm around my goals.

Note: I’ve also started separating my goals from the practices I’m trying out for the year but this isn’t necessary.

Step 3: meet your goals one day at a time

Once you have your shiny new theme and goals in hand, it’s time to start. My advice here is to take it one day at a time. Don’t set out to change completely right away. Instead, look at each day as an opportunity to take a step toward what you want to achieve. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the whole year to develop new habits and make small shifts to your lifestyle. Over time, these will add up to big changes.