What if we could be content with being ordinary?
Growing up in North America, we’re taught that we need to do our best, to fulfill our potential, to pursue big dreams. From a young age, we’re told a message that’s meant to motivate us. You can change the world.
In recent years, I’ve been less and less interested in dreaming big. Instead, I’ve been drawn to simple, everyday things that bring me contentment — deep cleaning my home in time for the first day of spring, working through the chapters of my book, planning a solo date.
What would happen to our joy, our compassion, and our humanity if we let go of striving — to get rich, to become famous, to be right, to be admired, to gain more power, to leave a legacy? What if we let go of comparing ourselves externally and instead listened deeply to what feels right internally?
I’ve chased money and achievement for so long that I’m scared to lose the desire to do more, to live up to my potential, to move to the next big dream. My inner critic wants me to do things that are fun, and exciting, and impressive. She doesn’t want people to look at my life and think, “Well, that’s boring.”
Toward the end of 2023, I *almost* decided on a theme for this year that was all about embracing ordinary life. But I chickened out. I couldn’t admit to myself that I wanted an ordinary life. Does this mean I'm settling, letting fear lead me, giving up on my dreams?
Part of me buys into what people say on repeat — that we keep ourselves small because we’re afraid to dream big. If everyone’s saying the same thing, it must be true, right? My brain has always been contrarian, defiant, disagreeable — or whatever you call questioning the things I hear over and over again.
A couple of months ago, a very insightful friend recommended the film, American Fiction. I got shivers during one of the scenes, when a character said:
“Potential is what people see when what is in front of them isn’t good enough.”
— Sintara Golden, American Fiction
To me, this quote encourages us to consider compassion over competition, contentment over comparison, good enough over not enough.
I’ve spent the past few years trying to believe that I have enough, and more importantly, that I am enough. Who am I without the job title, without the big salary, without the shiny new things? At the same time, my inner critic is constantly telling me that I need to do more so I can “fulfill my potential.”
But what if I’m not willing to make the sacrifices I’d need to make to reach my highest potential? What if I’d rather live an ordinary life? Does that mean I’ll never be good enough?
I feel in my heart that I’m not in the stage of dreaming big right now. I’ve had big dreams for most of my adult life and I haven’t known when to stop. I’m ready to shift my focus to the simple joys that often reside in fulfilling my everyday, ordinary dreams.
During my trip to Cuba, I thought a lot about what I want to subtract from my life. But subtraction isn’t the whole story. My authenblissity wants me to do less, so I can invite in more of the ordinary. I want to have more time — to ponder, to rest, to read one more chapter of a really good book. I want to have more energy — to meander, to play, to connect with people who are important to me.
I’ll still post videos because I love having these as virtual time capsules, but I'm going to reconsider the frequency. I’ll still blog every month or so, but I'm letting go of the podcast companion episodes (after this one). I'll still post the rest of my bullet journal flipthroughs, but I'm releasing any “shoulds” around returning to social media more fully. I’m sure I’ll continue to come up with ideas for future projects, but I'm pressing pause on urgent implementation.
This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t have big dreams. We need people who want to change the world, and who can change the world. These people are rare and special. I believe they are destined to do extraordinary things. But I also believe people can be rare and special if they’re destined to do many good, ordinary, everyday things. We may not all change the world in the macro sense, but we can each affect someone’s world on a micro level. And that can be just as meaningful.
THIS MONTH’S REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
Where does the pendulum come to rest for you in terms of your desire to achieve big dreams? Where does this desire (or lack of desire) come from? When you tune in to your inner compass, what do you notice about the things you want to add to your life? What about the things you want to subtract from your life?
Here’s to the beauty of an ordinary life,
