At this time last year, I was thinking about how to find a sense of belonging within myself. Lately, I’ve been pondering how to be my own best friend. These ideas are two sides of the same intriguing coin, and it’s an exploration I want to take with me into the new year.

I’m all about testing things out before I decide to try them for a full year, so here’s a rough sketch of my “be my own best friend” pledge that I plan to commit to in the coming weeks, and into 2023.

1. I will listen deeply to myself. Sometimes it’s hard for me to hear my inner compass among all the voices competing for my attention (inner critic, external advice, etc.). When I take the time to tune into myself, I can usually sift through the noise. My morning pages practice helps, and I plan to continue this indefinitely.

2. I will be honest with myself. One characteristic I value in a friend is the courage to call BS on my words and actions when they are misaligned with the person I say I want to be. I want to see through the excuses and lies I tell myself, and recognize when I’m being harsh or unreasonable.

3. I will be compassionate toward myself. I want to embrace my mistakes, so I can learn from them and do better next time. I want to view my missteps with compassion, not shame.

4. I will respect my boundaries and energy levels. I want to choose myself as much as I can. This doesn’t mean that I’ll never be flexible or do things I don’t want to, but I will do my best to respect my health and wellbeing.

5. I will speak kindly about myself. One thing I love about myself is that I don’t take myself too seriously, but sometimes I’m too free-flowing with self-deprecating humour. I still want to laugh at my silly quirks, but I don’t want to take it too far and cross into causing myself pain.

6. I will be my own cheerleader. I want to be proud of my work and not be afraid to share my creative projects. I want to encourage myself to let go of self-consciousness and step into joyful self-expression.

7. I will believe in myself. I want to trust that I am a kind and caring person who’s doing my best. I want to believe that I have everything I need and that I’m enough.

8. I will love myself. I don’t mean this in a prideful, boastful, or egotistical sense. I went through a time in my life when I hated myself, and I never want to be back in that place again. I’ve been working on healing my relationship with myself, and while there’s more work to do here, I’ve come such a long way.

If you’d like to be your own best friend, you can use this pledge or write a similar one. You can also use this pledge as a “best friend” practice towards someone in your life who you care deeply about (simply replace “myself” and “my own” with that person’s name).

With best friend energy,