Earlier this year, I posted a video on how I’m changing the way I read books. And in the span of three months, I’ve rediscovered my passion for reading — after nearly three decades of feeling meh about it.

Prior to this, I had almost resigned myself to the idea that I’m just not into reading anymore. When I was working through the media chapter of Authenblissity Reset, the topic of books kept surfacing. I kept thinking about how much I cherished my books in my childhood and teenage years, how much comfort I got from re-reading my favourites over and over again.

It bothered me that I no longer loved reading. So my problem-solving mind thought of a few experiments to try. The central theme: letting go of my shoulds around reading.

1. I’m letting go of my should around finishing books I’m not enjoying.

I’ve always felt an intense pressure to finish a book, even if I’m not enjoying it. What if it gets better? What if I miss out on something important? But it got such good reviews! This mindset sapped me of my joy of reading.

This year, I’m experimenting with DNF-ing books despite my FOMO. (DNF stands for “did not finish.”) I’ve heard a rule of thumb to give a book 100 pages (or 100 pages less your age, which would be 55 pages for me right now), but I’m willing to DNF at any point in the book.

2. I’m letting go of my should around finishing a book before I start the next one.

Around 15 years ago, I purchased a book at the airport with a beautiful cover and an interesting blurb. But for some reason, I could not get into it. My compulsion to finish the book was so strong that I kept trying. I must have read the same chapter 20 times. And because I wasn’t finished, I refused to start a new book. I think it was over a year before I finally gave up and moved on. A year!

This year, I’m experimenting with reading multiple books at the same time — and this has been a game changer. I almost got bottlenecked earlier this year with a book that was feeling like a bit of a drag. I wasn’t ready to give it up so I started (and finished) a bunch of other books in the meantime. The book I put on pause was always on my mind but I rarely felt like reading it. Eventually, I DNF’d it.

When reading multiple books at the same time, a good rhythm for me is reading one in the fiction category, alongside one or two in the non-fiction category. I tend to read fiction more quickly because it’s so immersive, whereas I can put down non-fiction between chapters and pick it back up in a few days.

3. I’m letting go of my should around reading a certain number of books in a certain amount of time.

When I was trying to revive my love of reading, I thought having a number goal would motivate me. In my many years of setting goals, I’ve learned that the strategy that works best for me is to set a realistic goal that is a bit of a reach. Since I wasn’t reading much at the time, I set a goal to read 50 books in 1001 days (or 2.74 years).

In a way, this worked because I did end up reading 50+ books as planned. But it never felt like I was reading for the “right” reasons (enjoyment, curiosity, etc.) and the number goal certainly didn’t reignite my passion for reading.

This year, I’m no longer setting a goal for the number of books I read. However, I am tracking the titles within my annual goals post — I love documenting things and this practice provides me with a jolt of excitement every time I start a new book. Plus I like looking back and seeing what I read and when.

4. I’m letting go of my should around remembering everything about a book.

Embarrassing confession: I retain nearly zero details about a book once I’m done. (This also applies to movies, TV shows, and live performances.) Sometimes, I don’t even remember the main characters’ names or the setting. For me, a book is more about how I feel when I read it and the curiosity it sparks within me.

There are some things I do want to retain though, especially when it comes to non-fiction — but I’m not going to put that pressure on myself. This year, I’m experimenting with jotting down the things I want to remember when I’m reading non-fiction. When it comes to fiction, I’m simply going to enjoy the book and move on.

5. I’m letting go of my should around reading only new-to-me books.

I didn’t have many books when I was a child so I re-read my favourite ones over and over again. (The library was an option but, at that time, I wasn’t very diligent about returning books.) Now that there are so many books that are so easy to access, it’s hard for my brain to justify re-reading a book. It might be FOMO at work again, but I don’t want to read a book I’ve already read when there are so many shiny new books I could be reading instead.

But then I remembered how reading the same book over and over again brought me so much comfort in the past. The words felt familiar but I’d notice new details with each re-read. This year, I’m experimenting with re-reading some of my favourite books to see if I can pick up some additional nuances. I’m still in the middle of my first re-read, but it’s been a very enjoyable and interesting experience so far.

6. I’m letting go of my should around not buying physical books.

There are many reasons why I stopped buying physical books. The biggest one being that I used to buy tons of books and I would never get around to reading them. This led to me feeling a lot of discomfort about the clutter in my tiny home, especially when I saw a physical reminder of a book I purchased many moons ago that I still haven’t read. I ended up donating 90% of my books and I’ve been reluctant to buy physical books ever since.

But over the past few years, I’ve repeatedly thought about how handy it would be to have a book on my shelf that I could easily reference — without placing it on hold at the library and waiting for weeks for it to become available. (I purchased a bunch of e-books, but I tend not to “flip through” these.) This year, I’m experimenting with buying physical copies of some of my favourite non-fiction books.

These experiments have helped me re-discover my love of reading, but there’s a caveat.

Like most of my experiments, the pendulum swung to the other extreme. I’ve been enjoying reading so much that I don’t feel like doing anything else. My creative ideas came to a halt and I fell behind on my creative outputs.

Reading, while enjoyable, is a form of procrastination for me — especially when I’m reading fiction because I don’t want to put the book down until I’m done. It doesn’t feel good to drag my heels on my videos and blogs, because I enjoy these hobbies too. They’re an important part of my self expression.

Recognizing this, I’ve made some adjustments. I’m slowing down on reading — just a brief pause on reading fiction, and just for a little bit. I’ll happily immerse myself in a book again in a week or so.

This month’s reflective questions

What are some of the shoulds you have around reading books (or any other hobby you enjoy)? How can you experiment with doing things differently so you can bring more joy to the practice?

Experimenting alongside you,