These past few months, I’ve been feeling like the rope in a tug of war between my paid work and my creative projects. Paid work was winning — I have a history of unintentionally prioritizing income generating activities — but now I’m actively trying to lean a bit more in the direction of my creative projects.

One big change I implemented recently was adopting a daily to-do list for my creative tasks, similar to how I use to-do lists for paid work. I’ve tried this in the past and it was magical — but then I found a fun job and my priorities shifted. I’ve been looking for a way to regain balance, so I’ve been eagerly testing out new systems to help organize my mind and make more efficient use of my time.

But in the midst of all this fun experimentation, I’ve been forgetting things.

Let me be clear: I don’t like forgetting things. I don’t enjoy the adrenaline from remembering something at the very last minute, intermingled with the dread that there’s something else I’m missing. (Because there’s almost always something else.) None of that makes me feel good.

And as much as I dislike forgetting things, I also dislike feeling distracted. Trying to remember the plethora of things swirling around me is a dense murky fog that prevents me from being fully present. I’d much rather be focused on what’s right in front of me: a conversation, a book, a TV show, a creative project, a work task, a cuddle session with Lulu. These all deserve my full attention.

So there we have my conundrum. Overthinking my to-do list and actively searching my brain for things to remember is pretty much the polar opposite of being present. But if I clear my mind too much, I forget stuff.

It’s a delicate balance that I’m still trying to figure out.

Here’s what I’ve been experimenting with — and I’m hoping to land very soon in a place of graceful remembering, while remaining beautifully rooted in the present moment.

• Letting my mind wander without abandon when I’m writing morning pages.

  My mind is a giant whirlpool of messy thoughts. I let all of these out during my daily morning pages session. Anything in my mind is free to come out onto paper, and most of the time, this involves at least a bit of planning. I like to think through my day in neat little slices to get a rough idea of when I’ll focus on what. It reassures me that I can get everything done. It also gives me comfort to know that this is a cornerstone of my morning routine — so I don’t feel the need to overthink the night before.

• Using alarms and fluid time blocking for nearly everything.

  It’s a challenge to be “in the moment” when there are so many little things on my mind. One way I clear my mental clutter is by setting an alarm so I can focus on what I’m doing for a set amount of time. I literally set it and try to forget everything else — for example, right now, I’m in a creative time block that includes writing this blog post. I don’t check work emails, personal emails, or my phone. Instead, I set an intention and focus. When my alarm goes off, I move to my next time block and focus on that.

• Finding a more efficient tool for my daily to-do lists.

  I am constantly adjusting the way I use to-do lists to match my current situation. Right now, I’m focusing on lists that track my daily tasks. I used to use these types of lists on an ad hoc basis, but with so many small tasks related to my paid work, I’ve needed to integrate these daily to-do lists into my regular routine.

  For a while, I was using the Stickies app on Mac, but typing in dates and copying/pasting tasks over and over again got old fast. Plus the app doesn’t sync with my other computers and I was constantly worried I’d lose all my items. I’ve since migrated my to-do lists to TickTick, which is working well so far. I’m still getting used to the rhythm but I have high hopes for this tool.

• Finding a better system for my calendar entries.

  I haven’t found my way through streamlining my calendars yet but I’ve flagged this as an area that needs improvement. I currently use a paper planner as my foundation, but I also have two online work calendars, which I check pretty much every weekday. There are things I put in one calendar but not the others, and there are other things I add to all my calendars. I also try to schedule things around hubby’s shifts at work so I’m often checking his calendar too. It’s all very busy and confusing. There has to be a better way.

As my life changes, how I prioritize my time also changes. The systems and tools I use are constantly in flux and I love experimenting to find the things that feel “just right.” It still feels icky to forget things, but I’m learning to let go of perfection. Instead of taking a trip down the shame spiral, I’m looking as each “oops” as a learning experience or as a way to improve moving forward. This process of making tiny adjustments is exciting and brings me tons of joy.