Gateway to cozy season
I used to dread the winter months.
The long, dark nights that seem to last forever. The snowfalls that quickly turn to grey slush in downtown Toronto. The icy chill that permeates deep to my core. My happy mood would start to sour toward the end of October, turning me into a miserable person to be around. All I’d think about or talk about was the inevitability of winter, how much I dreaded winter, how much winter affected me.
I hated that I hated winter.
Realizing this, I set out to actively and intentionally shift my mindset over time. I discovered that there are people out there who welcome the colder months. I learned about hygge. I experimented with practices that sounded like they could bring a bit of lightness to my day. I discovered little joys in my life that have always been there, hidden beneath my fixation on the impending winter.
As I tried on different strategies that overwhelmingly involved cooking, nesting, or resting, I realized that I too could embrace winter. I started viewing winter as a time to slow down, experience internal play, express gratitude for things often overlooked in my life, and let go of what needs to be released.
November became my gateway to cozy season.
Over the years, a few specific practices have found their natural home in the month of November. This has become my gateway to a season of groundedness, introspection, and rest. Here are the things I like to do that allow me to appreciate the inherent coziness of the winter season.
First, I get in the now.
In November, I start to get into a quiet and introspective mood, which helps me become more present.
The main tactic I use to get in the now is the eat at home challenge. This is a 30-day challenge that I first tried in November 2016. The rules are flexible — for me, this challenge means that everything I eat during the month is “home cooked,” but I use that term loosely because I usually include convenience foods like frozen pizza, instant noodles, and processed snacks. I try to refrain from buying any prepared food from restaurants, eateries, and coffee shops. As you can probably tell (especially if you’ve been following what I’ve been eating on Instagram this month), I don’t use the eat at home challenge to develop healthier eating habits. (It would be nice if I could, but my junk food addiction is real.)
Instead, I use the eat at home challenge as a way to interrupt my pattern of seeking pleasure from external sources. This challenge helps ground me in myself and my home, look inward for sustenance and nourishment, and snuggle up closer to the feeling that I have everything I need.
Then, I look ahead.
In November, I start thinking about what I want to accomplish next year in terms of self-development.
It seems counterintuitive that I’d get in the now only to think about the future, but being present helps me look ahead with a more gentle and unattached lens — rather than in a clingy, anxious, overly excited, pleasure-seeking sort of way.
Wrapped in the quiet container of this month, I think about:
The overall changes I’d like to make in my life moving forward
My overarching theme for year ahead
Some specific habits that might be fun to try in the new year
I look at myself gently, but I’m honest with myself about the ways I’d like to improve. This tender self-assessment yielded overarching themes in 2019 and 2020 that helped me make shifts to my internal landscape in subtle yet life-changing ways.
During this time, I also dream up small habits that might be fun to try — if the habits are brand new to me, I often test them out before I set them as “goals” for the new year. Some of my specific goals don’t have anything to do with my overarching theme, and that’s ok. Setting goals doesn’t have to be a serious, scary, or frustrating practice — it can be full of experimentation, creativity, fun, and play.
There’s a beautiful seasonality here.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much I appreciate that our winter months are clearly delineated in this part of the world — a distinct marking of rebirth that’s not as apparent in more temperate climates. As we head toward the coldest season in the Northern hemisphere, I’m seeing myself having time for deep rest. I’m imagining myself carving out time for fun creative projects. I’m envisioning myself diving deep into self-awareness, self-development, and self-love. Oh, that sounds like a good way to spend the next few months.
♥︎
