There are certain things that I find grounding. Maps. Calendars. Lists. These are very easy and convenient ways for me to root down. Some examples:

• If I’m feeling nervous about going to a new place, I map it out. Those pins that tell me exactly where I am, where I need to be, and how long it will take to get there? So soothing.

• If I’m feeling anxious about a deadline, I put it in my calendar and count the days I have remaining. Then I decide when I’m going to do the thing. Big sigh.

• If I’m feeling overwhelmed with things I need to remember, I dump all my thoughts into a list. Instant relief.

My brain is happy when I have maps, calendars, and lists. But sometimes I like to experiment with not knowing, so I can practice sitting in discomfort and uncertainty. I purposely let go of knowing where I am, what events are coming up, what I’m supposed to be doing next.

This is not one of those times.

With only 2 months until I plan to release my book, I am in dire need of some groundedness. So even though I don’t really have time for side projects, I decided the best thing to do right now would be to make a timeline.

A self-reflection timeline has been on my list for a while and it turns out I mapped out most of the key dates a few months ago. It was such a nice surprise to find the research and data-gathering tasks already done. Thank you to past-me for making this impromptu mini project so much easier for present-me.

The reason I wanted to make a timeline is because I’ve been feeling a lot of self-doubt… the kind that demands, “Who do you think you are to be writing this book?”

As my brain processed all the dates on my list, it was comforting to see how long I’ve been on this journey. I traced back my first point of self-reflection in my adult life to 2005. I saw flashes of my work and pauses and dreams and failures and revelations throughout the past 18 years. And these all gave me confidence. Maybe I do have enough experience to write this book after all.

But my timeline isn’t finished.
And I'm so excited to keep adding to it.
The next item will be dated September 23, 2023.
When I release my first book.