BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND
This year, I want to let go of my self-consciousness and fear of judgment, so I can step into my creative expression, joy, and quiet confidence. I think I’ll be able to do this by being my own best friend. I wrote a whole blog post about this in November when I was thinking about my 2023 theme so I’ll keep this short and sweet. For more details, you can click here to see my “be my own best friend” pledge.
Similar to previous years, I’ll be working my annual theme into everything I do. I’ve also set a few goals for the things I want to accomplish in 2023. This year, I’ve moved a few items I would have typically included in “goals” to a brand new “practices” section. These are things I want to work on in 2023, with the intention of integrating them into my life as ongoing practices.
2023 Review
I took huge strides in self-compassion and self-love this year! I spent the entire year listening deeply to myself but also being honest with myself. I respected my boundaries and energy levels, having courageous conversations and resting when I needed to. I was more careful with how I spoke about myself and gentler with my inner dialogue. I was my own cheerleader (even though I still feel a lot of resistance when it comes to sharing my work on social media) and I fully believed in myself enough to bring this book into the world.
— Goals —
#1: Finish and release my book
This is my top priority in 2023. The stars appear to be aligned for a tentative release date of September 23, 2023. It’s the autumn equinox, it’s a Saturday, and 23 is my favourite number. I’m going to work toward this date, but I’m not attached to it, because I want to release the book when it’s ready.
YES! I released my book right on schedule and I couldn’t be happier.
#2: Record a book progress update every week
I posted 53 book progress updates in 2022, and they really helped with my momentum and motivation. It’s also been lovely looking back on my progress and seeing how far I’ve come. But I’m not done yet! So I plan to continue with these updates into 2023, at least until I release my book.
I did this too! Yippee! I recorded my last book progress update a week before launch day and I posted a full-length vlog a few days after I released my book. These book progress updates helped me stay on track, both with my momentum and accountability.
#3: Create two book promotion Bingo cards
This goal was inspired by my friend Katelyn, and she suggested having two different bingo cards for pre-launch and post-launch. This is exactly what I’ve done! I’ve almost landed on the activities for my pre-launch bingo card, and I plan to tweak my post-launch bingo card as I move through the year.
I only ended up creating a pre-launch bingo card, but it was so helpful! It helped me be more comfortable when talking about my book with the people in my life and in my YouTube videos. Here’s how I did on this card.
I’m currently in the middle of my authenblissity reset (i.e., going through my book as a reader) so I’m mostly sharing my book on YouTube as I have so many video ideas! I may revisit the idea of putting together a post-launch bingo card in the future.
#4: Experiment with YouTube Shorts
I’ve been curious about YouTube Shorts so I’d like to play around with this feature in 2023. I’m still deciding on the frequency, but I’m thinking 1-3 shorts per week would be manageable.
I did a few experiments but I much prefer long-form content. I might still dabble in shorts here and there, but I don’t plan to create a regular schedule for this.
#5: Create one sticker collage per month
This goal is purely for my joyful creativity, because I had so much fun creating sticker collages when I was testing out one of the exercises in my book. I’d like to complete a full spread documenting each month in 2023. I plan to use the stickers in my current collection, as opposed to buying new ones.
These were so much fun! I loved doing these sticker collages and I plan to continue in 2024.
#6: Continue to migrate to digital planning
One of my 2022 goals involved trying fully digital planning in terms of my calendars and it was a huge success. This year, I want to make the same transition for two of my favourite ongoing practices: daily reflection and moon planning.
Digital planning is FANTASTIC! This worked very well for me and I’ll continue in 2024. While I still love my bullet journals, I’m saving them for special projects as I don’t want to amass a large collection of journals.
#7: Meet my annual expense target
After leaving my annual expense target unchanged for a number of years, I’ve set it a little higher in 2023. This is mainly due to inflation, as well as restaurants and travel opening up again. I’ve also set aside some funds for book promotion activities, which I may not use, but just in case.
As of the morning of December 31st, I’m 22% below budget.
— Practices —
#1: Complete my daily reflection
I’ve been keeping up with a daily reflection practice since 2021 and it’s been amazing for my mental health. This year, I’m going to ask myself this question at the end of each day: “What does your inner best friend want to say to you today?”
This question was perfectly aligned with my theme for the year. I wrote my reflections in 2nd person so I felt like I had a personal cheerleader for the entire year. Here’s an example of a recent entry: “Yay yay yay! Another good day. I love how you're in such good spirits this vlogmas, even on your low energy days.” Some days went deeper but even just a little pat on my back on most days was enough.
As I was typing out my daily reflection yesterday, I had a moment when I felt a little sad that I wouldn’t be connecting with inner best friend every day. I know she’ll always be a part of me, but these daily connections felt really special. That being said, I still plan to switch up the question in 2024.
#2: Take at least 30 minutes for lunch every day
When I was testing out the food chapter in my book, I realized I was rushing through lunch and this really bothered me. In the grand scheme of things, 30 minutes is very little time, but I was often only taking 2-5 minutes to eat because I was in such a hurry to get back to whatever I was working on. This year, I plan to take this non-negotiable time to give my food the attention it deserves. I started testing out this goal in November 2022, and I’m already feeling better about my relationship with food and work (and myself).
YES YES YES! This practice is so good for my mental and emotional health. I’d usually put on some music before emptying the dishwasher, tidying up a little bit, and preparing my lunch. Then I’d turn off the music and try to mindfully enjoy my lunch. Once I was done, I’d spend some time on my phone. This tiny pocket of time added a sense of spaciousness and leisure to my day. I’ll be continuing with this practice in the new year.
#3: Move my body every day
One way I’m trying to step out of self-consciousness and fear of judgment is to step back into my body. In 2023, I want to focus on moving my body as a carefree form of self-expression. I intend to do some combination of ecstatic dance, shaking, tapping, stretching, and yoga every day. I’ll likely sprinkle these movements in throughout the day as I’ve learned through many years of experimentation that this is what my body likes best. (Note: I will maintain my daily practice of reaching 10,000 steps, which isn’t an explicit goal anymore because it’s been a non-negotiable part my day for many years.)
I still walk every day but I’ve relaxed my step goal when I’m doing my weekly reset. We started preparing more involved lunches for hubby (sous vide chicken with a variety of veggies), which I really enjoy doing, but I found I was feeling stressed/rushed about also having to get my steps in. Sometimes I still end up getting most of the way to my step goal, but I’ve let go of the pressure to do so.
In terms of the specifics, I didn’t do as well with the other forms of movement. I spent a lot of the time in front of the computer in 2023. I think I only did ecstatic dance once but I did try to wiggle or stretch when I remembered.
#4: Incorporate more music into my life
I go through phases when I listen to music regularly, but that also means I go through phases when I don’t listen to music at all. In 2023, I want music to be a more consistent presence in my life. I’ve been listening to music when I’m cooking or doing chores, and I plan to continue this practice. Of course, I’ll listen to music when I’m experimenting with ecstatic dance. Beyond listening to music though, I also want to sing more. I’m not trying to do this perfectly or even to “improve.” Instead, I want to sing in a way that helps me let go of self-consciousness.
I listened to music most days this year and this helped my mood so much! I gravitated more toward upbeat music, so even though I didn’t do many dedicated ecstatic dance sessions, I danced around in my kitchen a lot when cooking or tidying up. I can’t wait to continue this practice in 2024.
#5: Wear more colour
In 2023, I want colour to be top of mind as I’m getting ready for the day. In the past several years, I’ve gotten into the habit of wearing mostly black and grey, which is very comfortable when it comes to my desire to blend in and stay under the radar. This may be a reach but I think wearing more colour will help me let go of self-consciousness, even if it’s just a little bit.
I love love love wearing colour! I think it did help with my mindset and being more comfortable with being seen. I still love my blacks and greys but it’s also fun to wear colour. I’ll definitely be continuing with this in the new year.